LOVE JUNGLE: WHO SHOULD PAY THE BILL ON THE FIRST DATE?
When the guy doesn't pay on the first date, it's a dealbreaker for some especially the ladies It's not that they aren’t self sufficient women who can’t afford to split the bill or even pick up an entire dinner tab. ‘Mbu’ It's an appreciation for a gentleman in the old-fashioned sense of the word.
With gender equality taking center stage gender roles are changing everywhere from the home to the office. We live in a time when females are at last making major strides in the equal pay department, saying "no" to objectification, and when even stay at home dads are increasingly common. But it seems that gender roles when it comes to dating especially in the early stages aren't changing quite as fast, and the "fake wallet reach" on a first date is a perfected move for many women with zero intention of paying. The question is ‘is it an order for the man to pay?
No one should be expected to pay based on gender identity. Some research suggests that over 60 per cent believe that a man should pay.
It's clear to see that traditional notions are shifting, however slowly, when it comes to the actions of servers who have gotten the memo not to place the bill down squarely in front of the man. Instead, in some places today's server will often ask if you'd like for one bill or two and place the former in the middle of the table admittedly making for either the first or yet another awkward first date moment. Then it's decision time. "I would say that whoever pays for the first date sets the tone for the relationship," says Derrick Mugabi. "I love being taken out on a date, but I'm just as happy to split the bill because it creates more of an even playing field." Sarah said. Others believe that a man should "100 per cent pay," but that women should at least offer. Some women believe that men who pay are more likely to be attracted to them.
With that said, an insistence to pay might not be rooted in old-fashioned chivalry, but a desire for something in return. "Paying the tab is also attached to expectations of sex for some people; it's time we rid ourselves of these gendered expectations," Daniel advises. "It's fine to pick up the tab regardless of gender if you're a man dating a woman, you can absolutely pay if you want to, but you shouldn't be obliged to do so."
For example, millennials prefer that their date did not greet them in public unless they are official.
Perhaps it's the definition of a gentleman that needs some modernization. After all, being a modern gentleman goes beyond having good manners and gestures like opening a few doors. Today, it also means supporting female empowerment and treating women with a heightened respect when it comes to everything from sexual boundaries, to actually listening to what she has to say things most of us find sexier than dropping shillings on dinner.
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