Breaking up is quite easier than moving on from a relationship. And also, breaking up does not necessarily mean that you have moved on from this particular relationship.
For some people, it requires a very long time to get over a heartbreak whereas for a few people, it only takes a short while to get back on their feet. Unbelievable as it may sound, some people even move on when they are still in a relationship. They detach themselves from their partner and once a break up is initiated, they are ready to walk past the relationship, only dealing with the scars that it brought into them.
How harsh can a break up be?
Some break ups are more ruthless than others. There are partners that will “let you down slowly" and there are partners that will be harsh while breaking up. You could be shocked by the percentage of people that get depression or even commit suicide just because they got dumped in a terrible manner.
It is believed that one in five suicides is always caused by relationship break ups(you best believe me)
How then can you get over a harsh break up?
Cut your ex off.
Without even asking questions, cut your ex off. How else are you supposed to move on when you are still in contact with the person that disappointed you? According to scientists, it is believed that when you see your ex, even just on social media, your brain gets a hit of dopamine (the feel-good hormone). After that initial rush, however comes the turmoil because you might feel anxious, sad or even impulsive.
You don’t want to look pathetic and start calling your ex out of impulse, right?
Get support
When it comes to healing nothing beats getting support from your friends. I know you could be worried that you had once cut them off while prioritizing your relationship but guess what. They can take you back(they are friends after all). Don’t be shy about it. Apologize and let them know you need them!
Support is vital for healing emotional pain and letting people in allows you to do this. Remember that you have to be willing to be vulnerable and accept help from others.
In cases where your friendship network is a little thin or you shared a lot of mutual friends with your ex and are looking for new bonds, making some new friends is advisable.
Do what you love.
It is the time to do everything you once loved but halted because maybe your partner did not want you doing them! Go back to the things that brought you joy before the breakup or explore new passions. By engaging in your interests, you will feel fulfilled outside your ex and will likely make connections with new people.
Find new hobbies.
It's a fresh start, so you might as well open yourself up to new experiences. As sad as a breakup might be, it can be a chance of revival. Picking up new hobbies, starting new classes, or moving to a new city can be ways to refresh ourselves and allow for continued internal growth.
Be kind to yourself.
Some partners are actually worse as they break up and make it feel like it is your fault. I have heard many individuals express that they feel pathetic for feeling such intense heartbreak for their ex. That is heartbreak after all. It is supposed to be painful. When you judge yourself for being hurt intensely, you start cutting off emotions that you have to face for your healing. You should instead be kind to yourself. Your ex has already been harsh in you enough!
Filter advise you get from people.
I know I talked about finding friends and relying on them for healing but you need to remember to have a limit as well. Yes, leaning on friends and family during this time is important, but getting too much advice from others can also be dizzying. They are trying to help and be supportive but they are likely speaking from their own experience and that is not always helpful. Before you follow their advice, find out if it worked for them first.
In conclusion therefore, the best thing you can do for yourself is being kind to yourself. This draws you many steps closer to your healing. Happy healing!
