Not every relationship is all sweet and rosy. Sometimes, you could have come across a partner that was not actually in love with you but was just in love with the idea of you. What I mean is, when you loved this person, you gave your all, turned up for them, bailed them out of tough situations and always found yourself sacrificing yourself for them.
All these things seem pretty normal in a healthy relationship, right? Well that is not always the case. These tiny details are only normal when hey are reciprocated. If your partner does not return the same energy you ate giving, then there is definitely no balance. This means your partner is just using you for their own benefit.
They feel like they need you around to solve almost half of their problems if not all. They get comfortable with the idea that you are available for them, even when it is least convenient for you. They are completely and totally using you. Once you start to notice these few pointers in your relationship, think twice because you are only being used.
How to know if someone is just using you.
They always talk about themselves.
Every time you hold a conversation with your partner, do they listen as much as they talk? This is not even just for relationships but for friendships as well. Do they listen to you or is it always about them. If you have not been keen about this then it’s high time you test your partner’s listening skills.
When a person is using you, they never care to find out about how you are doing or what has been going on in your life. All they care about is their feelings. It will always be projected in your conversations. If they always talk about themselves and never talk about you, they are selfishly using you for their own comfort at your own expense!
You always pay.
Most men out there believe that they are supposed to pay the bill, any time and anywhere. It has to do with provision and being able to take care of your woman, blah blah blah! But guess what, it does no harm for your partner to chip in every once in a while after all not every day is a Sunday.
If they are never willing to foot any kind of bill for you, no matter how small it could be then you may have to reconsider your position in that relationship. When we love someone, we can never resist the urge to take care of them so if your partner is always letting you handle the bill, there is a very high chance that they are just using you.
They never appreciate your efforts.
All you do is give and all they ever do is take! That is not a relationship, it is just convenience and you are being used. If your partner truly loves you and is not just trying to use you, they will often show gratefulness for every effort you put into the relationship, no matter how minute it may be.
The biggest essence of putting effort into a relationship is to be appreciated so if your partner does not even care to show gratefulness for all your efforts, they could just be using you for their own convenience.
They are always asking for favors.
“Could you please do me a favor?”, “Hun, do me a favor please.” And “Babe, I need a favor.” All sound so polite that you can easily fall for it. It is very healthy to have a partner that relies on you and can turn to you every time they feel like they need something. That actually proves that they can trust you even through their difficult situations.
What is not healthy however is asking for endless favors every single time. They only talk to you when they need you to help them with something and they never reach out if hey are doing perfectly alright. That is a good weather relationship where one party is totally using the other.
They do not consider your feelings.
If someone is really into you, they will definitely care about what you feel, what you are going through and how their decisions affect you as a partner, right? So if your partner has never once tried to care about how you feel or they even ignore you when you try to talk about your feelings, chances are that you are being used!
Your friends are not very supportive of the relationship.
There is something about the way your friends view your relationship. If you find that they are not very supportive if the partner you chose, do not brush it off as them being jealous of your relationship or them just hating on your partner. Sometimes they see beyond what you can see because you are simply blinded by love.
Remember that when you are blinded by love, your judgement also gets clouded and it is difficult to find out whether you are loved or you are just being used. These are things your friends could be able to discern for you.
You always find yourself rescuing them from a situation.
Are you turning into a superhero in your relationship? This simply means you are being used. You are always searched out for rescue missions instead of romantic dates and you really don’t notice that your partner is using you? How blind can love be?
You feel resentment for them.
If you feel your feelings for someone slowly drifting from love to resentment, chances are that they are just using you. The heart is a very complicated organ. Even when you love your partner, when you find yourself always putting up with their habits, sacrificing yourself for them, he heart does get fed up.
Even when you find it difficult to believe it, you will start to feel resentment for a person you once loved. Do not fight it but try to understand it.
They break promises and commitments.
If your partner is the kind of person who makes plans with you and then cancels on you, majorly on short notice or he or she simply never keeps any of the promises he or she makes then there is a high chance that he is only using you.
Don’t be deceived by a person that never keeps their word because if they truly care for you, they would meet their commitments.
Frequently Asked Questions
How to act when someone uses you?
Cut off the person who used you if you need to. Don't text, call, or talk to them if you can avoid it. If you go to school or work with this person, seeing them may be unavoidable. Keep your interactions short and civil.
How to know if you are being taken advantage of in a relationship?
If they only allow you to hang out when they are available or at places that are only convenient for them, those are red flags. Beware if they ignore you when you want to make plans or are constantly making excusing when you ask to spend time with them. Relationships need to remain focused on give and take.
How do you know he's a player?
One of the telltale signs he's playing around with you is that not only will he not talk about his feelings much, he will also try to actively distract you when you talk about yours. You don't need a relationship coach to tell you this, you just need to pay attention to how your conversation flows.
How to react when a guy uses you?
Stop contacting him. If someone is clearly only using you for sex, you should not keep reaching out to them. If more of a relationship was going to develop, it would have by now. Once you realize you're not getting what you want from a situation, stop contacting the person in question.
How do you stop people from taking you for granted?
One way to stop being taken for granted is to start saying no. If someone asks you to do something, and you don't have the time or energy, say no. You don't have to justify your decision, just say no. This will help you take control of your own life and stop letting others dictate what you do
