LOVE JUNGLE: when is it time to break up?
“It’s a big story but not a scandal,” said a famous tv host after he had screen shots of his extra marital affairs popped up on social media. How he escapes his conandrum is totally his and the partners business. If you’ve ever seen a romantic comedy, you’ve likely watched two people who find a way to be together no matter what obstacles stand in their way. The reason is always simple: They’re in love. But off screen, love isn’t always enough to make a relationship last.
In fact, the feelings caused by romantic gestures can be so strong, they can convince people to stay in relationships that are unhealthy, unfulfilling and ultimately unhappy whether they realize it or not. For example, when people looked at photos of their romantic partners, dopamine a chemical associated with reward that makes people feel good was released in their brains scientist suggest.
The way these chemicals make people feel can make them overlook logical decisions like leaving an unsatisfying relationship. Below we explain some of the signs that indicate it may be time to let go:
Your needs aren’t being met
It’s not rocket science that every person has different “requirements” that need to be met in a relationship. These needs can be emotional, like wanting quality time with your partner, or functional, like requiring one to support the other with money.
When one partner feels that the other isn’t fulfilling a requirement it’s important to communicate that. If the other party isn’t willing to try harder to fulfill that need, it’s probably time to move on.
One of the reasons people stay in relationships that don’t meet their needs stems from the negative views our society has about being single. It may seem like if they leave the relationship, they may never find something better. However this mentality wastes valuable time and perpetuates a person’s unhappiness.
When you looking for options
When you are having a bad day or when you have achieved a milestone In a fulfilling, healthy relationship, the first person to talk to should be your partner, according to Peter Wasswa a relationship specialist.
It’s great to have trusted friends at work or even buddies but if one is constantly turning to a “work husband” or “assistant wife” for support, it may be a sign that you’re not getting the support you need from your partner. “If you’re like, ‘I have a choice between talking to my boyfriend and talking to my guy friend, the guy who is constantly giving you that emotional affirmation that I need , I’m going with the friend,’”,. “Something’s not right.”
If either you or your partner is seeking emotional or physical fulfillment from people outside of your relationship, it’s a clear indication that it’s probably time to end the relationship.
When you are scared to ask your partner for more.
It’s ok to feel uncomfortable talking to your partner about what you need and may not be getting from your relationship. Ideally open lines of communication are essential to lasting, healthy partnerships. While some may think that’s going to make one sound needy and emotional,Instead of speaking up, they suppress how they feel, continue on with their dissatisfaction and feign contentment out of fear of feeling like a burden. something will surely happen that breaks the camel’s back. And the argument that ensues can wind up being more damaging to the relationship than it would have been if you had addressed it sooner. Hiding your true feelings about how your partner is treating you likely prolongs the unfulfilling relationship, rather than saves it. If you can’t get past the fear of confronting your partner, it’s probably time to seek help or part ways.
Friends and family don’t support your relationship
One should take stock of how your trusted family members and friends feel about your relationship. “If nobody in the community supports your relationship, that’s a red flag,”. If the people who love and support you see that the person you’re in love with isn’t making you happy, it’s a good idea to listen to their opinions.
If you decide push aside your friends’ and family’s concerns, it may lead to another sign that it’s time to let go of the relationship. One shouldn’t lie to their loved ones to keep their relationship afloat.
When you feel obligated to stay with someone
People are more likely to stay in relationships that they’ve already invested time and effort in and it becomes like a job.a This is similar to a money investment phenomenon known as the sunk cost effect. This investment leads to a continuous investment, even when the decision doesn’t make you happy. Just close that door when you feel that way.
Simply investing more time in a relationship with someone you love won’t fix the problems. If both partners aren’t willing to work to fulfill the other’s needs, the relationship probably isn’t worth more time.
If one had been working on their relationship for more than a year
Of course, when two people are in love and have spent years together or have started a family together, there is a stronger incentive to work out the problems.
If one spends too much time in indecision, it will corrupt the foundation of the relationship to the point where you can’t really make it back.
When the partner is not a friend
While it may sound counterintuitive, you can actually be in love with a person who is not their friend. If that’s the case, you may get by day to day, but it will be nearly impossible to make it through difficult times together.
All couples have disagreements, but people in healthy, loving relationships keep the mindset that “this is my friend, and I’m going to get through this with this person. Without friendship it’s difficult to talk to workable solutions.
Your partner is abusive
The lock down period showed character of people in relationship where stories of beating where a common tale. It’s possible for people in an abusive relationship to love an abusive partner. One in four women and one in 10 men have been victims of intimate partner violence. However safety is key so it’s just important to get a way out of slaps and kicks.
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