Who is a toxic person?
A toxic person is a very harmful or unpleasant Person. In many circumstances, you never know that you are surrounded by toxic people. It is actually worse when these people are your family. However unbelievable it sounds, it is true that sometimes family can be toxic(Those that have lived the tale could tell the tale).
How do you know you live with a toxic person?
They act the victim.
Toxic people are always acting like they are the victim even when they well know that they are the offenders. They will somehow turn it on you and make it look like you are the one in wrong. They can easily manipulate you into apologizing for their own wrong doings if you are not careful enough. This also happens at a family level(I kid you not).
Sometimes, parents can’t help but guilt trip their kids. But there’s a difference between expressing disappointment and creating a toxic environment by blaming everyone else for their feelings. If your mom refuses to talk to you for a week because you decided to spend a public holiday with friends this year, chances are that you are in a very toxic environment.
They are always right.
Toxic people never are wrong in their own opinion. They never commit error so every wrong thing is done by those close to them (yeah, that’s you).Take an instance where your parents have hated every person you’ve ever dated, and it’s starting to feel like no one is going to be good enough.
It could also be that they don’t like your job or even your friends and they continuously say your in the wrong company. Remember you’re an adult that knows what is right and wrong for you. If you evaluate your life and are satisfied with it, don’t let anyone try to live it for you.
They are jealous.
I know this sounds bizarre but for people that have experienced it, they know it. Your family could wake up one day and be jealous of you! Take an instance where you have achieved a goal that one of your family members had always wanted to achieve back then. If they show signs that they are not happy for you, they are toxic. Family should celebrate the wins together after all.
They overreact.
I know we are all human and we error at a certain point of our lives. This does not mean however that people around us are supposed to make a big deal of everything even when it was something small that transpired.
For instance, your guardian is still regularly losing their temper for completely reasonable things you do as an adult like being a little late for his birthday, that is toxicity.
Making comparisons.
Have you heard of statements like “Try to be like your sister" or “why cant you be like your brother?”. If so that is the highest level of toxicity. Making comparisons. You and your older sister are two completely different people. But because she’s a doctor with three kids and you’re a single receptionist at a doctor’s office, your brother loves to try to pit the two of you against each other. Your sister is always glorified and your dragged through the mud.
How do you get away from toxic family members?
Create boundaries
I know this is easier said than done, but very essential to do. Certainly, it’s easy to get caught in the web of toxic behavior if you’re still a bit naïve meaning you’ve just begun to experience what it’s like to be in the company of a toxic person.
If you’re experienced, it means you’ve already probably been through this with family members and are getting the hang of it. Make sure to create boundaries. There are things you shouldn’t let your family do so stand your ground and say no where necessary.
Limit your contact with them.
When you are unreachable, it will be very hard for toxic people to impose on you. This may be hard to do, especially because family members often get together on various occasions. And although you may not be able to totally avoid that contact you can find ways to make sure you surround yourself with people you do get along with as a way to insulate yourself from toxic family.
Don’t engage with them.
Aside from limiting your contact, it’s important to not go into any interaction, most especially when it is provocative and argumentative. It’s hard at times to hold your tongue when someone is saying and doing outrageous things but it’s important to learn to do it for your own sake and sanity. Anything you might say may be held against you and nothing you say will change anyone’s mind anyway.
Cut them off.
This will forever bee the best solution ever. When all else fails, when you’ve gone as far as you can go, but you see no change in these people, just slice them out of your life for good. It is okay to cut all ties to a toxic family member. Obviously, you try whatever option you can to change behaviors. And maybe you try over and over to communicate differently in an attempt to make the relationship work, but if you try at this and fail, do not be afraid to cut them off!
In conclusion therefore, however unbelievable it may seem, sometimes it is not strangers that are toxic but rather the people we are closest to. However, hold your ground when dealing with such people because lowering your head will only make you the perfect prey for toxic people.
