Only one that has never fallen in love is one who does not know that falling in love comes in different phases. When people hear this statement, they think love is a feeling that engulfs you all at once more like a sudden attack or an electric shock, after all, it is “falling” that we are talking about.
It is quite the contrary. Falling in love is a beautiful process. It is a beautiful process at that, most especially when someone knows exactly how to express it to the people they have fallen in love with. The biggest mistake people make is confusing a simple crush for love. Guess what? This is only the beginning of a beautiful journey and people tend to stop here because they are rushing into it, calling it love.
It is just like mounting a horse that is not yet in motion and you expect it to gallop away, you know. For this kind of love to grow, you need to give it time. Let no one lie to you and talk about a spontaneous love that engulfs you and makes you do the unimaginable( you are not Damon and Elena from Vampire Diaries).
If you do not believe me, look at what the dictionary describes when it comes to falling in love. According to the Cambridge Dictionary, to fall in love is to be very attracted to someone that you start to love them. It starts as an attraction that is later developed into love when nurtured well.
Before you blunder therefore, you need to understand what falling in love entails, most especially the stages of falling in love. Always remember that when you choose to rush, you will always crash. Why not choose a sweet and gentle ride, huh?
Stages of falling in love.
The Butterflies phase.
“ He gives me butterflies", “She gives me butterflies". This is the very first stage of falling in love. It is also referred to as the attraction stage. Have you heard someone say that they fell in love at first sight? They probably just got butterflies in their stomachs. When you look at a certain person and he or she makes you feel some kind of way, this is when you get butterflies.
It is a beautiful feeling. You feel a sudden pull towards them but then you are nervous and don’t know whether to run and hide or to run into their arms. This is when the butterflies are the most playful. Don’t rush into saying your in love because it is just the beginning and this is called attraction.
The Friends phase.
I don’t know quite yet why many people skip this beautiful phase. The friendship phase. It is very important while nurturing these feelings of love. Your mother must have told you to marry your best friend, right? She did not actually mean your male or female bestie. She meant that you should get with someone who understands you and appreciates you for who you are. Who would do that better than a friend?
When you feel attracted to someone, you then feel the urge to always see them, talk to them and spend time with them. This is when you suddenly become friends. If you skip this beautiful and wholesome important phase, you are missing out on a lot!
The awkward phase.
There is a reason why this is coming in after the friendship phase. You have now realized that you can not be “just friends" and you want more, am I right? You feel like hugging them longer, rubbing their cheek affectionately or laughing about the silliest things together with them. It gets a little awkward because you unconsciously start doing things with them that you would do with your significant other.
Both of you are however unsure whether the other feels the same for them so you keep trying to hold back despite the difficulty in doing so! (Sounds so cliché, right?)
The Honeymoon phase.
When the two of you start feeling comfortable around each other and you have done away with the awkwardness, this is called the honeymoon phase. You have skipped the awkward phase because you are now doing the simplest, smallest and sweetest things for each other.
In the Honeymoon phase, which some people refer to as the “foolish" phase, you are too smitten with each other to even notice any flaws. You constantly day dream about each other and count minutes to when you are going to meet up again. This is the phase where your partner is never wrong(we all know we are just love blind) and everything they do seems beautiful( well, not to your friends).
The Honeymoon phase is mostly blissful and a joy ride. Your feelings have not matured enough to reality but you are in love none the less.
The Insecurity phase.
All of us have been a doubtful Thomas before. “Does he or she love me?”, “Why did he or she pick me out of the many?”, “Is there someone else?” . Questions like these constantly will pop up in your head and you will start to think to yourself that you may not be good enough for your partner.
The worst thing is that you are too insecure to talk about this with your significant other so these doubts just keep swimming in your head and you have nothing to do about it. ( Sad, isn’t it?)
The Building phase.
When you are finally brace enough to master the courage and face your ghosts, you have then graduated to the building phase. The insecurities are gone because you are finally starting to understand this person more. Now that you realize that the two of you ha e a lot more in common than you had realized at first, you finally u understand why you are together.
In the building phase, you start to learn more about each other, you communicate more about important aspects of what you have going on between each other and stuff like that. This is a very string turning point for falling in love.
The Stability phase.
In the Stability phase, you support each other and try to work out many things together. In a sense, you start to share many more things together( not just food and ice-cream) and your feelings for each other continue to flourish. This is the Healthiest phase of falling in love.
The fulfillment phase.
Many couples crumble before they can actually get here because the Stability phase becomes a little too much for them to handle. Fulfillment means you achieve the goals you have set for yourself or for each other. You can buy a house move in together or even get married. What more could be fulfilling in the journey of love, huh?
Frequently Asked Questions.
How do I know I am falling in love?
Even if you don't know everything about them yet, if it's “true love,” you'll probably want to: A 2021 research review in the journal Frontiers of Psychology found that “preoccupation with the partner,” the “desire to know the other and to be known,” and “studying the other person”
What is the final stage of falling in love?
Attachment – Oxytocin and Vasopressin. The final stage of falling in love is attachment, this is the predominant factor in defining the success of long-term relationships.
What is the highest stage of love?
Lasting Stability. If you've reached the fifth and final stage of love, you may feel that congratulations are in order. Forming a strong, lasting bond with someone can be an achievement, and not everyone gets to this stage
Do I love him or am I just attached?
Love evokes fond feelings and actions toward the other person, particularly. Attachment is driven by how you feel about yourself with the degree of permanence and safety someone gives you, based on your past relationships. In other words, with love, your person is “the one” you have feelings for.
How men fall in love?
In many ways, men may fall in love in a way that mimics the female experience. The early stages can involve an infatuation with someone else, which can slowly deepen into trust, compassion and deep attachment. Men may also fall in love quickly and feel a strong need for affection from their partners
