Today the concept of self love is an exaggerated theory and they often ignore its importance. People aspire to be perfect in the eyes of society. Perfectionism is considered a greater asset or attribute than self love. When we talk about self love, it is easy to picture someone reading motivational books but self-love is much more than that. Studies have shown that self love is the key to mental wellbeing and it keeps depression and anxiety at bay.
Modern society is shaped in such a way that we are sort of bound to constantly compete against each other, or even ourselves. We are always trying to reach our short term goals and trying to better ourselves to match the expectations set upon us by the society. Many are guilty of working long hours and getting less sleep each night we travel the extra mile and feel content that we have achieved perfectionism. We grind in and out every week even during the weekend 'relaxing' and 'having a good time' seems like a job.
As a consequence, we end up being too hard on ourselves all too often without even realising. All of us are more or less stuck up and consumed by our work, social interactions, life goals, weekend plans and so on.
self love does not happen overnight; it takes a long time of practice before you can begin to love yourself genuinely.
This is how one can attain it:
1. Don't compare yourself to others
This is the most crucial aspect, and it is also the most difficult. It is an area that requires continuous effort every day. You don't care what others think of you when you are born because you are not conscious of your environment. As a result, you cry whenever you want, play, eat and sleep.
But soon after you start becoming conscious of your environment and what people think of you, you start trying to do what pleases others and trying so hard to fit in. Then, if you don't succeed at doing something, you start comparing yourself with your counterparts and seeing yourself as a failure.
This results on to feel judged constantly at some point in our lives. Questions like Does my smile look good? Am I skinny enough to be a model? The reality is, no one notices us as much as we think. Everyone has their own problems to solve, so if you think the world revolves around you, then you're mistaken.
Self love is being okay with yourself as you are. You have your path in life different from those around you. The worst thing is making your life a competition because you'll never be happy. Instead of judging yourself or overthinking about what others think of you, accept that there are things you can't change about yourself and be happy.
2. Don't look for happiness out of your means.
Happiness is not a solvable equation. It depends on your definition of happiness. If you think you will be happy after you have bought the latest phone or surpassed your competitor, think again. If you pin your happiness on material things like a bigger house or a higher-paying job, you're setting yourself up for failure.
True happiness is a mindset. You don't have to be extremely rich to be happy; you can be content with what you have and be happy. Yes, external factors can make our lives better or worse, but how we react to these situations is what really matters.
3. Talk to yourself
This may sound weird but it works. We are our biggest critics, so how we feel is based on how we see ourselves. We want to achieve the best in our lives, so we set high standards. Unfortunately, people around us don't look at our imperfections as much as we ponder on them. When we don't meet the target we set for ourselves, we feel crestfallen, which is the opposite of self love. Ask yourself questions often like a therapist, why do I feel like I'm not good enough? Does it matter if I didn't get the promotion at work? Constantly question your actions and emotions, and see how your life improves.
