Let us not lie. Everyone in this life has been cheated on! Some quite a few times while others multiple times. The question most people ask however is why hey were cheated on. A person that has been cheated on is usually left with very many insecurities as well as very many questions.
“Was I not good enough" is probably the first question you will ask yourself followed with the classic “What did I do wrong?”. Whereas cheating could be your partner’s fault, it could also be your fault and in order to settle everything, you need to sit yourself and your partner down and try to find out the cause of the infidelity instead of waving your arms around, screaming that you were betrayed.
Am not entirely blaming it on you though, trust me when I say that in most cases, it is not even your fault because your partner is just a selfish prick who chose their own happiness over yours and they hurt you in the process. Cheating is unjustifiable if I must say but the least you can do is try to understand why you have been cheated on or why you have cheated( if you are the cheater).
This in turn will bot only help you to come to terms with the issue and move on but it will also help you to avoid such mistakes in the future when you do move on to a healthier relationship. Let no one lie to you and say men cheat without no reason(I have heard this from many females out there) because there is always a reason, though some reasons are always too vague and self centered.
Reasons why people cheat on the people they Love.
Insecurities.
Some people have their own insecurities that they fail to face up to so instead, they resort to infidelity to try and cover up these insecurities. Call me a liar but the truth is, some people cheat because of this. When one has insecurities, they will want to be appreciated, affirmed, desired and constantly told that they are not as bad as they think.
Sometimes, they just happen not to get this from their respective partners and they end up getting this desire and affirmation from someone else. When someone else makes them feel reassured, wanted and desired, they get attracted so fast and feel like this is he only person that can keep their insecurities at bay.
The problem is, sometimes they don’t discuss this with their partners and hence they don’t get reassurance from their partners. All in all, if you feel insecure about something, instead of seeking validation else where, try to talk to your partner about this. He or she could help keep your insecurities at bay.
Sexual lack.
For some people it is genuinely sexual. They have no feelings for the person they are cheating with but this person does things that their partners do not do in bed. Let’s face it. Some partners are just not willing to go the extra mile when it comes to love making and sometimes you may feel like you have different preferences that you do not even sit down to talk through.
If you want to avoid such a mistake, sit your partner down and talk. Tell them your preferences and also ask them about their own. You should be able to understand each others' sexual needs in order to sexually satisfy each other.
Sex Addiction.
Some people are addicted to sex and their sex drive is way different from that of their partners. When they try to put it across to their partners, they either feel unsafe to admit that they have a high libido or they are simply ignored. When they happen to meet a person that matches their sex drive, guess what will happen. Of course they will cheat.
I would advise that the two of you try to seek help from experts together in a bid to cover up the gap in your sexual drives. This kind of incompatibility could seriously destroy your relationship if not addressed.
Selfishness.
There is also a certain group of people that are just selfish. They do not care what their partners feel and they certainly do not care whether their partners get hurt or not. All they care about is having fun whether it is within their relationships or outside their relationships. If you truly love your partner, you have to stop being selfish and a little more considerate towards their feelings.
Adventure.
You have not heard of this before? Sometimes this comes as a result of peer pressure. Your partners friends keep telling him or her that you are not the best and they could get much better. On top of that, they keep telling your partner that there is so much to explore and learn so your partner also opts for adventure, with out you. (How disappointing)
Self exploration.
For some people, there is a part of them that they feel is asleep when they are with their partners so they would like to explore themselves fully. Some of them feel like they do not know their preferences and they feel the urge to find that out without their partners. This leads then straight to infidelity (a lame excuse if you ask me).
Forbidden is sweetest.
As a child, am sure there is something your mother forbade you to eat or a place they forbade you to ever visit. What did you do? Am sure you ran straight to the place early the next day or you had that forbidden treat late in the night. This is the same context. Some people cheat because it is forbidden hence that makes it thrilling. The more forbidden it is, the more thrilling it gets for them.
Unresolved trauma.
Why do you think you were warned against dating someone that has been broken and has not healed? This is the sole reason. When one is a victim of cheating, they need a lot of time to heal from the pain and disappointment they experienced when they were cheated in. If this person did not recover from this past painful experience, they will do it to their partners as well.
The only thing that crosses their mind is that it was do e to them when they were innocent so they feel it is only fair for them to also pay back someone in the same way. (Very twisted if I must say)
Lack of commitment.
Some people just lack commitment. All they want to do is sleep around and that is not your fault. It is in them and their character. They just feel validated when they sleep around because they do not want to be tied down. Even when they love you, they just cant commit to you alone!
Frequently Asked Questions.
Can you truly love someone and cheat on them?
Yes you sure can! Infidelity does not mean that the love is gone or never existed. The reality is that you can love someone and still cheat on them. In fact, many affairs happen in relationships that are otherwise very happy.
What happens when someone you love cheats on you?
The worst you can ever imagine. Being cheated on sucks. It's as simple as that – but the feelings that come with it are hardly ever simple. You feel betrayed, angry, embarrassed and completely heartbroken. It can make you question everything about yourself, your relationship and your life.
How do you know a cheater is really sorry?
They take full responsibility for their actions. There may have been problems in the relationship, but even if your S.O. felt unloved and unwanted, they're the ones who chose to cheat. Despite this, you'll know they're remorseful if they don't make excuses or place blame on anyone except for themselves.
What is the psychology behind cheating and lying?
Research suggests that individuals may cheat due to various motivations such as dissatisfaction, desire for novelty, or lack of emotional intimacy. In other situations, individuals may cheat as a form of self-sabotage due to low self-esteem or feelings of unworthiness.
Can a relationship go back to normal after cheating?
With effort, yes it can. Relationships can survive infidelity if both individuals are willing to do the work of processing their emotions and thoughts with the goal of healing from the infidelity together. Moving past infidelity takes time and patience, but healing can result in greater growth and resilience for the couple.
